Sometimes when we’re facing something hard like:
- running our first group fitness session,
- having a tough conversation with a client,
- conducting a workout in front of a way bigger group than we’re used to,
- increasing our prices,
- or trying out a new way of marketing,
We really want things to go well. In fact, we get so caught up in the thing needing to go perfectly that we get stuck. So we start talking to person after person trying to get a sense of what we should do.
To try to find a way to do something vulnerable, without being vulnerable.
In these times what we are often looking for from these other people we’re talking to is permission.
Permission to try something new during a workout. Permission to ask your clients to pay more money. Permission to look like a goof ball in front of 100 people.
Here’s the thing though, while I’m a huge fan of having people in your corner who cheer you on, you don’t need their permission. All you need is your own.
In Braving The Wilderness, Brené Brown tells to us about how when faced with something scary, she literally writes herself a permission slip and carries it around with her. You know, like the kind your Mum wrote you to get picked up from school early.
In these permission slips she gives herself permission to do things like ask questions and stay curious during a difficult conversation, set boundaries around her work and family time or as in the video linked above, act uncool when meeting Oprah for the first time.
So next time you find yourself trying to get permission from others to do something hard or uncomfortable, remember you can write your own permission slip.